What coud possibly go wrong?

Today is our 37^th wedding anniversary which should apparently be marked with gifts of alabaster. That was obviously too hard, so instead we celebrate by having dinner at the oldest hotel on Skye, the Stein Inn, built in 1790. What could possibly go wrong?

Walking into the small but quaint old stone pub all seems good. We find a table, sit down and wait. No one comes to the table so we assume you have to order at the bar. Richard approaches the bar, but has to wait as the barman and two old guys finish their long conversation about whether or not Manchester United had solved their problems by sacking their coach. Eventually the barman confirms, ‘Sit down and Lassie will come’. Several more minutes pass and we have seen neither collie dog nor female waitress.

Eventually Lassie does appear but repeatedly walks past our table with her gaze firmly turned away from us. By this stage we have been at the pub nearly half an hour and have not even seen the menu. Finally, on the fourth passing we ask Lassie if we can please see the menu. She makes two things very clear. Firstly, the menus are at the bar and we have to get them ourselves (not sure why the barman didn’t tell us that). Secondly, ‘There is only one lad in kitchen tonight so it’s going to be a wee wait.’

While we wait the locals next to us order and begin their first course. Much discussion ensues between Lassie and the locals. ‘Who is your grandmother?’ ‘Morag Macdonald’ replies Lassie. “Oh – so who is your other grandmother?’ Again Lassie replies ‘Morag Macdonald. She lives on the other side of the street.’ It seems both grandmothers have the same name. The old local man is perplexed as he used to deliver the local mail and he is still having trouble working out exactly where Lassie fits.

Fortunately, by the end of their meal the locals have worked out Lassie’s lineage. ‘Oh, you must be Dickie’s daughter then?’ ‘Yah Dickie’s me daad’ replies Lassie. Thank goodness that is sorted and we can now eat.

Eventually our orders are taken and our food arrives, traditional pub grub. Richard’s order of lamb chops and baked potatoes is just that – two fried lamb chops and a baked potato. Wendy’s Mallaig Haddock is a little more exciting. A side order of veggies proves to be a good choice.

The food is quite good considering ‘There’s only one lad in kitchen tonight.’